Funny Corner

so just post all your funny stuff here

NOOOO there stealing the bucket...

anyway. heres a joke

why did the chicken cross The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest
of his family who were waiting for the news: “We had twins!”
The family was so excited they immediately asked, “Who do they look
like?”
The father paused, smiled, and said, “Each other.”

school scenarios 1960 vs 2007

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.


Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.


This was off a website. finnaly teachers are teaching practical maths

1. Ramón has an AK-47 with a 30-round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Ramón attempt before he has to reload?


2. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?


3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day crack habit?


4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make a 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to obtain the 20% profit?


5. Up to $100 for a 4x4 vehicle - more for foreign cars - less for domestic cars. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 - 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to have $900?


6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?


7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how much tagging can be sprayed with three 8 oz. cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?


8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang.. There are 20 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Tyrone knocked up?


9. La Shaunda is a lookout for the gang. La Shaunda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If La Shaunda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed the Boa on one week's income?



10. Marvin steals Juan's skate board. As Marvin skates away at 15 mph, Juan loads his .357 Magnum. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?